Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
