Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
