oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
