Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
