I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
