Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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