They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
