I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Randomize
