just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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