She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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