as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
