I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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