You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
