Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize