Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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