so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
