As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
