speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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