Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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