Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
