fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize