What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he was CRYING into my vagina
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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