I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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