she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
This is the high leading the old right now
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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