When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
