She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
