is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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