Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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