Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
