I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Two words: blizzard sex
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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