apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
