i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
