They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
