Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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