***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
