pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
