i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
