she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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