Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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