do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize