so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
