I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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