And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
