I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
