Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize