just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
ttyl tear gas
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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