i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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