they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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