I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize