Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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