I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
