so that wasnt chicken after all
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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