K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
