3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
