too bad you live with your parents still
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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