just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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