I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
bring money and cleavage
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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