i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize