ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
