did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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