Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
