hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
