He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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