I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just found puke in my bra..
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
