Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
this just has baby written all over it
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
