You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
