sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
