I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize