So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize